I’m a nice girl. Nice was nice. I was the nice everyone “liked.” Nice got me nowhere but hurt. Nice almost got me dead.
So the story begins. I once was that nice girl everyone likes to bring home to mom. Then, the stomping began. Men loved and always left; jobs never paid like the should; pets ate my furniture; and I always ended up alone, privy to a lovely pity-party for one.
I’d regroup after each “nice” disaster, and try to find the inside of being, which had been stomped on like a bunch of grapes and squished out. I began to get a pretty good idea that I was here to do something, make a dent in this thing called life. Being down couldn’t last for long. Oh, when I was younger (i.e. B.C. – before children) I could go to clubs and try to dance my pain away. Or I could find a new relationship that had so much promise (but always ended up the same in the end…hmmm….)
So then I have children, two. One is this adorable, bubbly chatty, walk and read earlier than-the-average-child. A second child comes along and runs the rules right through the shredder. He’s what we as a society call, “special.” And it is special. It is takes more time, more energy, more education, more resources, more patience, and more money. It always costs more money.
Miracles do not come always in tidy packages. Miracles can be a mess. It’s the clawing out of the mess that gives us a chance to be a better person. Thus, my journey began to get rid of nice, exterminate it and redefine it.
My miracle-mess came in my son who was born with Down syndrome. He was never the mess, it was just the hospital, the pain, the fear, the unknown, and the difficult path ahead I had to take. I knew, though it took time to decipher my way through the chaos, that if I pushed and never gave up, I’d get a chance to transform and be lead to a new path.
I am now a single parent of a two children, one with special needs. In this pages I intend to connect and offer stories, wisdom, and insights of my journey through the maze of my past and the rebuilding of my present and future.
My children and I have suffered a tangled past of tragedy, including domestic violence that tried to silence us all. We’re here to tell the story and show others you too can not only make it out of the chaos, but you too have the power to create your own miracles with the strength you didn’t even know you had inside.
Now I’m not nice at all. I’m the new nice. And this nice – you don’t want to mess with. Unless of course, you’re not nice either.